Horoscope

Madam puppy dog astrologer, Sylvia. Photo by Michael Tuccini.
Madam Sylvia. Photo by Michael Tuccini.

Sylvia Reads The Stars

Week of April 4, 2019

Aries Mar 20 – Apr 20

Aries, where have you been? I’ve been out smelling All The Smells! Did you take my advice and visit a new spot? I hope you did, and I doubly hope you enjoyed yourself immensely and recharged a bit. The stars say you’re ready for action this week–fired up and ready to go!

Taurus Apr 20 – May 21

This week is a good time to cool it from making fun of your usual suspects. Find something positive about them. In other words, ya gotta root for State. It’s all we have left.

Gemini May 21 – Jun 21

It’s been pointed out to me that what I think tastes delicious doesn’t always strike my humans similarly (philistines!). This is a good week to remember the differences among us exist, in part, to get us to flex our understanding muscle.

Cancer Jun 21 – Jul 23

Cancer, perhaps I’ve been hard on you. Perhaps you’ve been hard on you, too. This week, take a load off. Write 10 things about yourself for which you are grateful. Make it 100.

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 23

My literary Leo, do you find yourself reading cereal boxes? Magazines at the doctor’s office? This week your superpower is the ability to read souls. It’s not a party trick, so don’t broadcast your findings too widely.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 23

Virgo, this is the week. You. Me. The birds and the sky. Come on, already. It’s finally thawed out. Take a good hour gazing at Spring.

Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23

Spend a stress-free morning, even if it’s at work, thinking of how awesome the people around you are. If it’s hard to see, try being a foot and a half off the ground, like me. Like, whoa. A whole different perspective awaits!

Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 22

I don’t know, Scorp. Some of my best moments are running around the backyard, then cuddling with you on the couch. I don’t love being told I snore, though. This week could you knock it off and just enjoy the good?

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 23

Sadge, everybody calls me “Buddy” when they see me walking in the park. I’m a pretty girl. I don’t know why they think I’m a dude. What aspect of you gets misunderstood more times than necessary? Amplify it this week.

Capricorn Dec 23 – Jan 20

I hate having my nails trimmed, Cap. It’s right up there with linoleum floors and baths. Apparently I have to endure these un-favorite things for my own good. What advice have you gotten that you haven’t taken…until now?

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18

Aquarius, you love people. And that is a gift as lovely as the stars. This week watch as your good nature rubs off on those around you.

Pisces Feb 18 – Mar 20

Ok, Pisces, you got me: I know six different languages including feline. What light of yours have you been hiding under a bush…and did you see any bunnies? I speak bunny.


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